A marriage of convenience.

Big Eggs is depressed. Every so often the public curiosity about his sexuality gets on top of him and his paranoia about keeping his homosexuality a secret is indeed all consuming. He longs for a steady relationship but feels that it is impossible in Poland, at least if he wants to keep his career afloat.

So what to do? Get married? Mmm... organising a Russian bride who wants an open door into Europe would be easy, but she would soon move on and it wouldn't be long before the press are on his tail again.

Frequent holidays abroad to places like Morocco or Mykonos offer untold delights, but sneakily taken photographs can find their way onto the internet and fuel speculation.

So Big Eggs sinks into despondency and there is little I can do to console him.