Eggs is what the Polish call balls, or testicles. I met Big Eggs in my local boozer, although he later confessed to having eyed me earlier in the gym... that was when I first arrived here six years ago and stood out like a pork chop at a bar mitzwah. He is a well-known actor (well-known in Poland that is) and now lives in Warsaw, two hours from here. Don't misunderstand me - I have never set eyes upon his love spuds, nor have I any wish to. Indeed, I don't bat for his team. I can't remember how it came about but the label Big Eggs has stuck and suits the purpose of this journal.
Big Eggs is a semon demon, a brown artist. He's particularly partial to sticking his mitts up the tradesman's entrance. An anal astronaut as it were. He's what they call 'active' as opposed to passive.... "no-one goes near my arse!" I can't imagine anything more repulsive but each to each is what we preach. As Queen Victoria said... "I don't care what they do as long as they don't do it in the street and frighten the horses." We are close and I try not to dwell on what he gets up to in the boudoir. He has a penchant for geysers big and Neanderthal, not hard to stumble on in Poland.
Big Eggs knows what friendship is, he values it highly and takes great joy in it. His family rejected him when he enlightened them just a couple of years ago to the fact that he was a friend of Dorothy's, something which was very difficult for him to do as they are ordinary conservative Polish people. And deeply Catholic. Ironic seeing as all the Catholic priests I grew up around were buggering boys left right and centre. Big Eggs's family have since said awful things to him and behaved very badly. There is as yet no gay scene in Poland. He says that if he came out publicly his acting career in Poland would end overnight.
He has been a real support to me albeit completely useless. He spends his nights on the computer if he's not fucking and sleeps all day. And I mean all day. He has a lot of 'online sex' (what a world we live in!) and is always complaining about how careful he has to be about being exposed. He usually rises about 5 or 6pm. It's not unusual for him to be cleaning his bathroom at two in the morning... in his underpants. He is desperate to get out of Poland but what would lie abroad? A coffee shop? Manual labour? Ha! He wouldn't last five minutes. And going from big shot to barman within a matter of days would be a difficult transition. He'd make a very good hustler. The hours would suit him too. For the moment he stays and makes the best of being someone people recognise in the street. If he left I would certainly miss him.
Big Eggs is to appear on a Polish version of one of these celebrity talent shows. He's good-looking, a fantastic dancer and oozes charisma. I suspect he will do rather well.
